Flour on my Feet

I made homemade pancakes. That's not big news. Pancake mix here is more like crepes, one 5ch package makes about four. So, I always make my own. Today, they were good. Really good. In fact, Caroline ate three. First time in her life. Raising a kid with CVS- Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome  and super picky eating habits is a blog all by itself, just not this blog.

But as I sat, to drink my coffee, I looked at my feet. They were covered in flour. I just sighed. Then I wondered why is it that my cooking is so inept. You never see Jamie Oliver or Emeril with flour on their feet. I tried to trace it back to a specific event.

It was difficult. So many recipes gone wrong. Like trying to find the one thing that caused the collapse of the Roman Empire. Sure there was the introduction of Christianity but there were also problems in agriculture and sky rocketing food prices (it's possible I made that last part up).


View of the Constantine Arch from the Colosseum- taken on our Rome trip. See "Road Trip Rules" if you're curious.

I think I'm on to something.

Food here is expensive. And there isn't the plethora of cooking shortcuts here that exist in the US. The lovely, giant frozen foods sections in the US? Reduce that to 1/4. The entire aisle of breakfast cereals (who needs to cook with 100 breakfast cereal choices), maybe 20 here. I will have to count next time I go. A medium sized box of Shredded Wheat- 5.40ch here. Multi Grain Cheerios- 4.75ch. So, you try to spend wisely and try really hard NOT TO SCREW IT UP. Pressure. A lot of pressure.

Same problems with cleaning.  Can take hours for me to figure out if the product I'm holding is going to clean the granite or destroy it.  I don't have any granite in that colonial in Connecticut, nor, will I ever probably.  By the time, I think I've gotten a handle on it, I'm too annoyed to care.  It's granite. Should survive centuries even with me around.  Still intact granite in Pompeii and Rome. Probably better if I don't clean it. 

Then there was the Great Fondue Fire of 2012.  That really shook my confidence.  45 minutes to translate the three ingredients.  12 seconds later, a fire in three places. That lighter fluid stuff is dangerous.  I'm not a big fan of fire.  Probably because I set myself of fire when I was 3 or 4. 

But today I made pancakes.  No fires. Just flour on my feet.   

P.S. If you are on Instagram, look for #worstcookever. My favorite? The one with an arm and an IV stuck in it. Gave herself food poisoning. At least I haven't done that yet. 









Comments

Popular Posts