WHO are YOU here?

What I really wanted was 'Breaking Bad' (Netflix, you are so slow- last eight already!). What did I consider instead? Baking bread. Because I also really wanted warm, fresh bread dripping with honey butter. So, I found this recipe.
http://www.makeandtakes.com/warning-easiest-recipe-for-homemade-bread and then I just thought about baking bread.  Because I don't really want to make the bread.  Prefer to just have it appear. And while I was thinking about magical homemade bread, I also thought about all the other things I could be doing.

I think there's a reality TV show in this expat move for me. One week. One job. Move along. They don't even have to pay me (but they could if they wanted to).

I could start with crane operator.  I've been eyeing the cranes (the machines- not the birds- besides crane, penguin, sparrow; they are all the same to me). Switzerland has an obscene amount of these cranes. I am scared of heights and I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to get up there. And worse than going up, might be coming down. Every building lot has a crane. Most days I can see three of four GIGANTIC cranes from my kitchen window. Very Swiss.

Next, I'd like to deliver mail. I like that  Vespa'ish thing they drive. Plus, the Post Office here gets all philosophical on you at night. Atop the giant building, at night, in neon, flash alternating questions.  The first, "WHERE are YOU?" and secondly,  "WHO are YOU here?" They are rhetorical. I think. Maybe when I work there, I can change it to something friendlier, "YOU had me at HELLO".

I want to drive a bus. A double bus. Maybe just for a day though. Not a whole week. There's a bus driver here. She gave me the hairy eyeball- for no good reason. I want to drive her bus. We have a score to settle. Then there is the bus driver who said he was going to call the polizei on me because he didn't like my parking job.  What is it with me and bus drivers?

I want to work at the kids' school. Just once I want to receive an email about a field trip/performance/donation more than 12 hours before I need to pack/attend/empty my wallet. I need to send that memo myself to ensure I get it on time. I don't need to work here a week. 10 minutes tops.

I want to be the person in charge of the marriages at the town hall.  Fridays are a popular day to get married. The couple goes inside (often in full wedding regalia) and eventually comes out married.  I find this interesting.  It's the perfect way to get married. No fuss. No muss.  But you still get to wear a great dress and carry a bouquet- if you want.  My understanding is that everyone has a ceremony at city hall and then some have a church wedding. I drove by the city hall recently (it's only about 300 yards down the street) and the guests waiting had strung up a clothes line outside and hung baby clothes on it.  No pressure there.

I'd like to stock the vending machines here.  In the vending machine, very close to the kids' school is  soda, juice, pretzels, condoms, pregnancy tests, lighters, and gummy bears. The one at the train station? That one includes 'Swiss Cannabis Ice Tea- for a 'bombastic natural feeling'. 

I'm curious what else is out there; both in regards to the vending machine contents and the jobs.


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