Thieves and Other Things

I hope the person that stole my credit card is reading this.  I already had a rather disappointing day. First, I read about Julius, the baby giraffe, dying. And if that wasn't enough, it culminated with me actually considering applying for a job cleaning up crime scenes.  I am not entirely sure what that entails (hopefully not entrails), but this is where I'm at today.  So, you taking my credit card which I reserve for Friday night pizzas (which we didn't get around to until Sunday night) kind of made me mad.

I was declined buying a pizza.  Because you stole my credit card and wanted barista-made coffee, which is totally overrated. And expensive.  You could have gotten a lot more coffee at McDonald's! It's not bad either. And sadly for you (happily for me), this is when my bank first suspected fraud. My bank and I go way back, they totally know I am a $1.00 coffee kind of girl.

Regarding the motor inn charge, I have never been to a motor inn so I am not entirely sure what one does there.  I have stayed in youth hostels in Paris but I doubt it's the same.  I couldn't afford a motel.  But the bathroom was awesome, you should have seen it.  Just two outlines on the floor where you were to stand and then you just did your business.  And there were chickens running around.

I didn't stay long enough to find out if they were to become dinner because I had to get back to my job waiting tables at a restaurant in London.  Because I could only afford to go to London if I worked. I didn't have a credit card then-hell, I didn't even have someone else's credit card.  Just a bank account with a few hundred bucks I earned being an awesome waitress. But dude, that is also hard. People are so demanding and sometimes I didn't get to go to bed until very late.  But if you want to travel, a job is a cool way to earn money to do that.

I have stayed in a bed and breakfast attached to a church run by a woman named Susan Virtue but I doubt that's the same either.  I am trying to think of other seedy places I have stayed in and can't come up with much else except maybe the youth hostel in Amsterdam.  That was something special. Maybe it was like that?

But I have worked several odd jobs.  Perhaps you could try that too!  I baked dog biscuits for a day. Honest work. But very tiring.  I'd recommend trying that to see what it is to own your own business and work even when you don't feel well as that owner did.

I have inspected very tiny machine-made parts for flaws. That was hard on your eyes.  No one, and I mean no one, works harder than an Italian lady in a machine shop.  Oh, it's true their English was weak but they went to work and did a good job every single day.  And smiled.  Because their families depended on them.  I'd recommend a stint in a machine shop for a lesson in work ethic.

I have worked in a daycare in a very economically depressed community.  I scrubbed floors there. The woman who made the lunches?  I loved her.  I remember her getting her first credit card to build up her credit report so she could buy a house.  She made $5.75 an hour.  She sure could cook- even for forty people at a time and she kept that kitchen spic and span. But you'd have to drive in all kinds of weather because that's what people do when they have goals.  I'd recommend it just in case you wanted a lesson from her in how to manage finances and set goals (you know, legal ones).

I picked tobacco.  I know, sounds unpleasant, doesn't it? It definitely is!  It was early, hot- so very hot, and lousy pay. But if you want a lesson in hard work under less than desirable conditions, that is the job for you!

I volunteer to help kids who have made bad choices try to understand their actions have consequences and that people sometimes get hurt when you do things that are impulsive, reckless, and dare I say it...illegal?  We are just getting started. We sure could use some help.  But probably not the job for you, huh? We don't pay anything at all.  And just a hunch, but maybe you were just the kind of kid we are looking to help.  (Before they steal someone's credit card.)

Here's my advice.  Knock it off.  People seriously don't appreciate it when they go to buy a pizza and their credit card is declined.


  1. I absolutely love this post! It's hilarious! And entertaining! I'm sorry to hear about your card and your pizza (or lack thereof).
    One tip if that's ok- don't put you're entire post in the email. If you do, I don't ever need to click on your blog. Does that make sense?
    Keep it up! Great blog!!!

    1. Thanks Kate! Interesting! I have control over that somehow? Help!

    2. You do.. it would have to do with what you use to send it out.. do you use mailchimp? What plug in do you use?


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